So, the locker room was open. I got there at like 6:10, and snuck in through the Armory... maybe that helped.

Then I worked out on the bike... watching Wasatch eps 1-5. I'll be sad when its over, because the editor has really good taste in music, and I also have fresh powder envy. They are shooting the next season today... but still.

Hopefully(!) I'll get accepted to University of Utah, so that if I wish, I may attend there and carve some of my own tracks in the snow. (Green slopes only at first!!)

I'll start off by saying "I am out of shape".

I never was in shape. I'm not an athlete, and I hate running. And I'm physically slow... I do not run fast and when I walk my stride is only about 12 or 14 inches. (Oh, this is all very negative, isn't it?)

Well, lately I also feel encumbered. Like, UGH it takes a lot of energy to pick myself up out of my chair.

So, I've started working out regularly! maybe. They say if you can keep it up for 2 weeks, you're golden.

My goal is 3x a week for some amount of time more than 20 minutes.


( I went today and here is what I observed: )

If you wouldn't mind, erm....commenting? to let me know you've seen this.... maybe blogging will help me keep to a schedule. FOR THE READERS, MAN!!

Please note: Lucy Knisely is not me, but she draws really well and has overall great, cute ideas.
You can visit her Art Journal on LJ for more amazing things. lucylou

So, without further ado...

What do you do when you're Really Angry/Jealous about something, or even a set of somethings all related to each other, and these things are not going to change?

This is what we look like, right now

The room is dark spare for two lights illuminating in a golden and orange glow at opposite ends of the room. The television hums about anti-Alzheimer medication, imploring us to remember the past and not fear the future. My significant other watches cooking shows, even at 1:19 in the morning.

I read the blog of a Chinese co-worker, translated over the internet from Mandarin to English. It is broken english, but the meaning is there. I wish to make her a necklace to show my congratulations for passing her candidacy examination.

Is there more to life than the passing of material items? Is it not enough to wish someone well, must we also present them with a token of our thanks?

And, perhaps most worrisome, can an understated reassurance still be enough to survive on?

The television presents the Hedgehog's Dilemma: can we ever be so close as to not be alone, but to avoid getting hurt?

I wish to create something, something more than a simple post that only a handful of people will read.

Good luck.

Does anyone ever use it?

Post your experiences here. I find that it COULD be a great place to chat, but so far I've gotten tons of requests for cyber.

Why does anonymity make people dumbbbb?

Lately I have been listening to more "popular" music; Black Eyed Peas and 3Oh!3. I've even become satisfied with the radio stations that my car can pick up as I drive to places.

If you're on Last.fm, I encourage you to friend me; my username is chemical_pipit (the one w/o the underscore was taken. Weird!)

But as I was coming back from Kohls this afternoon, I was singing and shouting and rocking out in the car, and people looked at me. lol. But what if they had heard what I was listening to. Does it matter if it was Basshunter or Beyonce? Who are we to categorize? I certainly don't, and since acquiring this variety of music I have vowed to never say "Ewwww you listen to Soulja Boy?" or something. Cuz if that's their kink, they should go with it, even if they are white and nerdy and just like the pulse of the Yoooooouuuuou!!!!! while they pwn n00bs in Shadowrun or whatever. I personally do not like Soulja Boy, but I also don't like fish and chips. You're allowed to like whatever you want.

I just... didn't realize that until sometime last summer.


Also!! ACS Conference in Washington DC tomorrow through Thursday!! exciting!!

Color theory is back.


Also, Connecticon is in like.... 4 days. OMG!!! I...have to do more Tsuro!

Less drama, more Tsuro. Got it.


Lab is getting better. Now only if my experiments could work.... that'd be SUPER!

My copy of XP is pirated so I'm installing Windows7. The logic makes sense, I promise!

Colin is an asshat (nah I haven't talked to him recently, I just wanted to throw that in)

I haven't been knitting much. Hopefully that'll change in the car on the way to Connecticon!! yaay

And I'm exhausted cuz I slept poorly last night.

Rock on!!

I just cracked open the test prep book.

"136 questions in 2 hours and 50 minutes, which means 1.25 minutes per question"

Gosh, does everyone have to be a min-maxer? this isn't world of f*ing warcraft. OMG STRATEGY WE HAVE TO BE THE BEST AND WE'LL HELP YOU BE THE BEST OMG.

It's just making me nervous.

Fuck standardize tests.

Last night I had a non-failtastic birthday ^.^

We went to Olive Garden (lol)-- me and Robalan and Schwaj and WizOfAwz and LordPaido and AirElf. (I don't think half these people have LJ-- so everyone gets a made-up handle by me!) It was delicious and I had mushroom ravioli and I ate it all up.

Later we were met at my apartment by Mellyducky and Dragonlordged, and we all played board games at my apartment: Paido, Ged and Melly played a game of either Race for the Galaxy or Galaxy Trucker (I never saw which) and the rest of us played Carcassonne: The Discovery. It's like regular Carcassonne, but with different landforms and sliiightly different scoring.

Then WizOfAwz, AirElf and Schwaj left, so we were left with 5 people to play Bang!. That is a fun game. (I am empirically trying to figure out what I like and don't like about boardgames.... and it MIGHT just be the venue. As in:: GamesClub on Saturday is full of strategy and meta-min-maxing. Parties are full of friendly competition and laughter. I choose the second option!!)

And then Robalan and I drove Paido home out into the boonies, and Robalan wasn't mad :P

It was a most excellent evening.

Dear more experience people on LJ:

How does one live alone, especially if one is an extrovert? I could co-habitate at Robalan's, but their apartment has barely enough room for them, especially in the living room common area. It's not comfortable.

My apartment is comfortable0ish, but nobody is there. Which sometimes, is nice. And other times, is not nice at all. It would be nicer overall if I cleaned it and put things away, but gravitation towards people has made it so that I have neglected my apartment a little.

Urk. Advice plx?

With Paprika watched and DL's hat finished, and having spent a week at work, I now find myself in an interesting situation.

Last summer was all about coming out of my shell and being able to handle stuff. This summer is going to be about self-improvement and independence and feeling pretty good a lot of the time.

So! some escape plans include:: (in no particular order)

1) Knit.
1a) Finish the sock.
1b) Start Asana
1c) Make a lace scarf (or rather, just knit lace.)

2) Start Civ4, or Oblivion

3) Hike and explore the area

4) Write music and mix electronica.

5) Write LARPs

6) Dream, play, write down ideas.

7) Talk to other people, meet new people!

8) Read Erfworld and Girl Genius

9) Work out, do yoga, swim

I just found out that my grandmother is sick (with a cold, its okay!) and doesn't feel up to schlepping from NYC to Troy with my parents. Also, my uncle was going to come, but can't make it either.

My parents are still coming, but this means that I have TWO EXTRA GRADUATION TICKETS available.

Does anyone want or need them?

(crossposted to RPI LJ)

I'm going in about 10 minutes to turn in my thesis, but until I finish breakfast, I shall blog about the things I want to do.

1) Watch Paprika with Makyivka and my roomie. We've wanted to for a while, it shall be done.
2) Begin Asana. I have 4 of 5 skeins of yarn, why not get started so I can maybe wear it sometime before summer ends?
---2a) Finish DigitalLimit's grey hat. It's ALMOST done.
3) Start Civ4, see if I like it. (Mostly this is based on my obsession with Baba Yetu, the opening song, but hey! why not)
4) Program more in Python. Learn what objects are. Make fun GUI things for GTK+.
5) Write music with like, Fruity Loops or something.
6) Explore the area more. Go hiking.
7) Write LARPs with Zrealm and AirElf and others!
8) Play a TON of TF2 :P

More to come!

Of course, this is based on the assumption that I work 40-50 hours a week soley in biotech. There is a scenario where this might not be true. Oh bother.

Updates to follow

Today was a good day.

I realized a lot of things, like how it's never too late for things to pick up.

There were smidgens of deep and wonderful conversation early in the morning, and then I fell asleep and awoke, just in time to shower and go to a seminar that my laboratory group was hosting. A visiting scholar from the University of Georgia was talking about stem cells, which I am studying (a component of them, anyway) for my Masters Thesis.

Oh right. Livejournal, I am officially a Masters Degree student at RPI for one more year. Woot.

OK So. In addition to learning a LOT (like what I'll actually be studying, and vaguely how I'll go about it), I got engaged in a conversation with this visiting scholar. She complimented me on the sweater-shawl I was wearing. She asked if I made it myself, and I was like "No...I knit hats though!" and she says "Oh! Are you on Ravelry??" and I go "Yeah!"

So at the end of the conference, we switched Ravelry screen names. :P

I then went back to the dorm and proceeded to begin my Bachelor's Thesis (durp. School totally ended today, but this 10-pager is due on Monday.) and knitted, probably finishing this hat I was making for an internet friend. (It might be done, unless his head is huge, and then its not. I've written him and I'm making him send me his measurements again cuz I lost them.)

On Monday, broseceilingcat and I are going to Troy Stitch n' Bitch at Flavour Cafe. Maybe I'll finish this beige sock.

The week is going to be interesting and awesome, except that all the non-a capella non-grads have left. A handful of people will be here over the summer, and it should be similarly profound to last summer.

I am left with the sentiment that everyone's leaving.... I'm vaguely writing my thesis... wondering what changes this summer will bring.... how I will grow and develop; how people who are leaving will grow and develop, and if they will come back very different, and how will I interpret it?

They turned my city into a flat, xeroscaped dryland.

Wemagination is still there, though, and that's good.

It shows you that everything, eventually, will change.

:(

I am almost done with my tea, but I can't take food or beverages into lab, so until then, I shall blog.

Things are going Better, but not Wonderful. Nearly everyone I know is frustrated with the end of the year; either cuz the end isn't soon enough, or is too soon to finish all the projects. Basically, its crunch time.

I had some major freakouts last week... my chemistry isn't quite what it would like to be, because I was (am) rather proud.... and I used to have a problem with using someone else's starting compound. "What?? Mine isn't good enough??? Fine." But since using my predecessor's stuff (which, by the way, was lovely)... my product is now lovely. You can make a silk purse out of a sow's ear... and you can make a delightful sugary confection out of utter crap, but it's gonna take you a while.

I think what I'm most afraid of is not finishing this project. I've got 3ish weeks left, minus lets say 3 days for studying for the final polymer test... 18 to do 3 reactions. Not as easy as you might think, especially because I'm trying not to completely have a heart attack everytime things go wrong. On the bright side, things will go Less Wrong, cuz I'm getting better at the technique.

Hey. This feels like Ochem lab. And we all panicked there too.

Maybe its not so bad.

There's more stuff I can say, but I'm going to make a different post cuz its on a different topic.

I admire my roommate very much. She just got back from GDC 09, and has rubbed elbows with several of the big names in gaming (Who?? I say? She says Oh he designed Metal Gear Solid. I'm like Oh I've heard of that.) Similarly, our friend Gadgetgrl was also at GDC, and I followed a series of links to her professional blog. And I'm thinking....man, I wish I had rubbed elbows with hot-shots.

But I sort of have. I had that great internship last summer, which made me fall [back?] in love with Medicinal Chemistry and, moreover, organic synthesis.

Except that I have received two rejection emails from two PhD programs in the past two weeks. The first was UIowa...which after I got the rejection, led me to wonder if I was indeed prepared to move out to Iowa. The answer was not reaaaalllly... but then the second email showed up a few days later, from VANDERBILT. The pretty school with all the magnolias in temperate Nashville, TN. Baw and a half, it was my number one.

...Until I saw Dr. Thayumanavan from UMass Amherst speak at a seminar at RPI. And I introduced myself and said I had just applied, and he said he had a lot of projects, including Personalized Medicine. That's WICKED cool. Why do you, dear reader, take Motrin for your headaches, but I prefer Tylenol? What other factors affect the absorption of pharmaceuticals? I intend to find out.

But they're taking a long time telling me I am (or am not) accepted. My advisor suggested a back-up plan... Coterminal masters degree here at RPI. This would be okay; I could live in an apartment and possibly even work a little bit at AMRI or someplace (provided time is in great supply, which it doesn't ever seem to be.)

Another question that came up tonight; mr_eX (the ex, ya i know) is studying for Intro to CogSci and is wondering about how artificial intelligence is kind of at a standstill right now. And I suggested that what is necessary is a team of biologists and biochemists who should figure out how the human brain works. Start over from bio, not computer science.

-----> So maybe that is what I would like to do. Solve the Cognition Problem. Win Nobel Prizes. Save the world. BUT I am not a biologist. Ought I get my Masters in Bio to facilitate this? What will this mean for my PhD? The Plan right now is to get a PhD in Chem and get really good at it and get a lot of experience and then become the bestest organic professor ever while carrying out the most interesting research and getting the sparkliest funding.

[Disclaimer: I used to want to be a ballerina in the morning and play in the symphony at night. I am crazy.]

So. The question is....

...
......

What now?

One could say that the past semester up till now was an experiment in Mornings, and in Food. and I have realised something.

I LIKE EATING MEALS WITH PEOPLE. It's a fundamental thing to me. Even if I'm eating and they're not... they like, have to be there, or I get kind of sad. Once in a while its okay, but it still leaves me with a feeling of Sadness that can only be shirked by getting busy in lab. haha.

This was true over the summer...neither Makyivka nor LadyKaeldara were awake when I was... and I didn't much associate with our Fourth Roommate... so I would read while having my Technicolor Hannaford cereal. And that was okay... but meh, I like people.

And I didn't notice this until RD Ali cooked a bunch of food on Tuesday... and everyone ate it, all together, in the lounge. It was just like old times, at Commons. And I was like "This is AWESOME. And...normal. And I feel good!!" Even Mr_eX was there, so we had some tension. LoL. Just like Commons! *snrk and a half*

But yeah.... if anyone wants to eat breakfast on any given day between 9 and 10am, let me know in any way you know how.